OK, folks -now it can be told: ever notice how you never see Thurston Kelp and Chandler Travis in the same place? How, in fact, you never see Thurston Kelp at all, for that matter?
Well, yes, Kelp was nothing but an alias the whole time, part of Chandler’s web of lies and deceit… worked pretty good for a few years there, while Kelp wrote a regular kolumn for the Cape Codder, where most of these pieces were originally published (however reluctantly).
Though no longer a regular korrespondent for the weekly publikation, kranky Kape Kodder Kelp still contributes the occasional kolumn.
These unedited versions are reprinted here with permission (not to mention forebodings of evil) from that publication; you will probably find them silly, obnoxious, out-of-date, and/or infrequently informative.
In instances where the reader feels some sort of revenge need by taken, Kelp can be reached at email@example.com (or you can just leave a comment here)