Some Brief Holiday Hints

ocelot kittensIt’s getting to be that time of year where you’re probably wondering to yourself, “well, shouldn’t I get someone a lovely gift?” or “hey, I’d better buy now whatever they say.” Don’t be a sagging stick! Have the dirt to be the happiest holiday giant jingling maniac for your family, before they even notice you’re gone!

That’s where I come in, with this year’s “Suggestions of People to Buy Things For Them” or, “What You Want, Dude!” In no time, you’ll feel like you have half the harmonica you used to be, but larger! (It’s a wonder I’ve never done this before, as I certainly seem to take to it. I particularly like the way the sentences just keep going…this is definitely my snazziest opening in quite a while…I’d better alert the missus…)…

(…Radiant Flower That She Inevitably Is…)

Have you considered an ocelot? Most people know little about the kind of joy and sense of well-being a pet ocelot can bring to his owner; I, myself, for instance (as an example), know nothing about this rightfully neglected subject. But doesn’t that make it all the more unique and thoughtful a gift for that certain someone? What a conversation piece! Your friends will say, “Hmmm! _______ has a new ocelot!” or “Gee, your house smells like ocelots!”.

By now, you’re probably thinking, “but Thurston, I mean, Mr. Kelp, what if my loved/certainspecialsome one is allergic to cats? (And by the way, regards to the missus, whom I hear is one hot babe!)?”

To me, this is not a problem, as sneezing is something more and more people (such as fashion models, athletes, and astronauts) are starting to do to make themselves more attractive to others of themselves, or, sometimes, just to pass the time. Here at Kelp Manor, my wife (the hopelessly seductive Mrs. Kelp) and I collapse into uncontrollable sneezing fits whenever we can, especially when the family gets together on the holidays. Eastham is a mad whirl.

But let’s get back to music. Went to the Barley Neck and saw the High Kings last weekend, who I thought were coming along quite nicely. For the first set , bassist Cliff Letsche played an upright instead of an electric, which I much preferred; later on, they did a delightful version of the Who’s “Odorono”. They also have some swell originals and a playful sense of arranging, plus one of the cape’s best singers: drummer Jay Cournoyer, who’s shortly headed to Florida for a month or two. This means their show at the Mill Hill Club in West Yarmouth this Sunday could be their last for a little while (though their postcard also says they’ll be at Harry’s in Hyannis for New Year’s Eve; double-check with the band at 778 6295…

I’ve also been getting a lot of email lately from a new band called Mahogany Ridge, who’ll be at the Prodigal Son in Hyannis tomorrow (Saturday) night; don’t know what they sound like (though they identify themselves as “the rockingest acoustic band around”; I can’t help but suspect the rockability of any band that leaves the “g” in “rockingest”, but who knows?), but they definitely have a computer…

There’s a benefit being held at the Barley Neck Inn next Sunday, the 21st, to benefit the family of Micheal “Burd” Burdulis, who died of cancer last fall; it’ll be an all-Christmas program with the accent on original material, and will feature Bruce Maclean, Red Limousine, Anna Whiteley, Fred Fried, Sarah Burrill, Arron Spade, Chandler Travis, Steve and Liz Shook, Tim Dickey, Space Posse’s Eric Short, and the proverbial many others…

Regulator Johnson’s Brian Miller informs me that there’s a new coffeehouse open on Tuesday nights in Chatham at the Chatham Village Cafe that features an open mike from 7-9 and no cover…sounds like an invitation to trouble, alright…

And what do I want for Christmas? I want that big truck that picks up the big blocks they use on the median on the southeast expressway -man, that thing is the coolest! Imagine just being able to lay down medians wherever you go! I’ve got to get one! C’mon you guys…

See you.

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